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The “Grapevine” couldn’t be a better metaphor for the growing gossip and intertwining overgrowth that is the fellowship of AA.

And let us not forget about the amends that have to be exchanged once the relationship has gone awry. We had a mutual sober friend who kept the connection going even when our diseases and neuroses kept us—or me—apart.

And you’ll often hear sayings, like, “Odds are good that you’ll meet somebody, but the goods are odd.” And I couldn’t agree more.

When I relapsed for the umpteenth time and ended up with a militant black lesbian for a sponsor, she was very clear that I was not going to fuck my way through the rooms this time around.

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“Baby, you only going to go to women’s meetings and gay meetings,” she said. You gonna focus on recovery.” “Well that sounds boring,” I said.

It’s only a matter of time before he hears how—and who—you’re doing.

I would go to those uptight “lady” meetings in Beverly Hills and Brentwood where women with bad facelifts and expensive handbags complain about their gardeners. “Well,” she told me, “be scared in the front.” But the desire to escape ourselves is so strong that we can often find a distraction no matter how slim the pickings.

I would go to a Saturday women’s meeting in Crenshaw for lesbians. One day at the crusty Brentwood “ladies who lunch” meeting, a tattooed, dark-haired man walked in.

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  1. In November, the Boston Police Department warned daters to be wary of people they met online after robbers targeted victims who thought they were meeting a romantic interest at a specific address. "Members of the public are urged to take precautions when using social media or dating websites because it's possible you could come across a 'Catfisher.'" Criminals searching for real-world victims online haven't just focused on dating sites.